Who’s Out There? The People You Meet

I had just climbed 2000 feet, to a stunning view of Mt. Rainer. After spending weeks on the Olympic Peninsula, it felt great to be back in the mountains. An area that is so humbling and inspiring.

I was sitting on a big rock, just the mountain and me, admiring her glaciers, waterfalls and wildflowers. Listening for anything she might want to say.

After 10 minutes or so a few people walked by, saying good morning, I’d put up my hand and wave, not wanting to speak. When walked by a woman with her husband and two adult children.

Her children said ‘Hi’, her husband said the uninterested, “how are you’. But this woman in the seconds it took her to walk by looked IN my eyes, she gave me a knowing smile and SAW ME! Like I’ve never been seen by a stranger before. She got what I was doing there, and with her eyes said“ I wish I could listen too.”

It was so fulfilling to have someone look at me and just with a glance to know they understood. They saw my true nature and desire. I see you, her eyes glowed, I see what you’re doing, and I honor that.

On this journey, I’ve met a few strangers along the way. We’ve had great conversations, and talked about common interests. And every time I walked away from those conversations feeling a little less than, like there was something essential I didn’t add.

And I think after that passing gaze of that woman, I realize that what was missing from those conversations was that I didn’t stop and truly SEE who I was talking to. We talked about common interests and pursuits and our journey on the way, but I didn’t notice THEM, who they truly were behind the pursuits. This doesn’t come from words, it comes from seeing a person behind their face, it’s acknowledging who they really are.

In order to do this, we have to be willing to gaze up on ourselves. Not just see if our hair looks presentable, if our wrinkles are tucked. But to be willing to wear our insides out. To let us and others see the ugly bits, the lumpy parts and say it’s ok. No I’m not perfect, and neither are you, and that’s ok. We’re still enough, we’re still good enough.

This often gets conveyed by thinking it doesn’t matter what our physical appearance looks like, it doesn’t matter if we go to the store in our pajamas.

And I’m not talking about not caring what you LOOK like. It’s so much deeper than that. People can not care what they look like but be hiding all the stuff they don’t want people to truly see. And in so doing, they’re hiding their jewels.

And I think at times, I didn’t care about my appearance because I was so desperate for people to see the real ME. I feel like the reason that I looked so rhadshawed on the outside, was I was screaming loud for them to see the inside, not just my facade.

You’ll hear that as you get older you stop caring what others think. And I’ve found that to be true. But it develops in layers. At 40 I first started noticing it, thinking I’d gotten there, that I didn’t care what people thought. What I didn’t know then, that I know as I’m about to turn 54, is how many layers there are to not caring about what others think of me. It’s like I’ll be shedding these layers the rest of my life, because hopefully for the rest of my life I’ll be getting to know new parts of myself. Caves undiscovered. And as I dig up those earth covered holes, then I get to show the world those parts too.

But what I really hope, in releasing all this about myself, is that I’ll spend more time really seeing others when I talk to them or pass them on the street. Seeing them with compassion and empathy, seeing how hard they’re trying to be good, to be their full selves. That I will see behind the mask they’ve created, behind the defense walls they’ve built. And if for only a brief moment, they’ll feel seen for who they truly are and know it’s ok.

It’s ok, to let their true selves out into the light.

I’m letting more and more of my true self, parts I’d buried 50 years ago, out. And the more I keep uncovering, keep looking inside, the more I get to see the truth of who others are too.

I don’t know who that woman was, walking between Mt. Rainer and me, but I wish I could tell her what an effect she had on me. I’d never felt so seen by a passing person.

It’s so much easier for us to judge others as we walk by, or to stay hidden in our own worlds, behind our battle wounds and not notice someone at all. But how much different would our world be today if we started noticing the people we met?

Not just with a cursory, Hi, How are you? But with a knowing, a seeing of who they truly are, the God given gift they have inside them, waiting to sing.